Bang!

"As a fuck, son, you suck!"

Every single day.And it is still there, in my head.

"Not tonight hun, I'm busy sleeping"

Recently, I'm bombarded with a lot of negative energy-hence, the few emo posts. If I can conclude how my early 2010 is, I pretty much can say that it sucked to the max. I just wanna sit at home all day and sleep.At least when I sleep, the problem will dissolve away, even for awhile.

Other than sleeping myself away, I should thank god for making my life busy.I joined an exclusive book club and am on my way finishing the 2nd book. So far, I love the book and I have to admit that it does ignite my passion for reading again. A passion that died  during my 2 years stay in Australia because of workloads of assignments and commitment to societies and stuffs. In addition, I have a part-time job. Teaching English and Science for Year 6, Form 1,2 and 3 students. I earn not much but the experience and learning process that I value the most. Why learning? Simply because I have to read Science books again before every class. Yes, I need to refresh memories and know the content of my teaching.A teacher should not be an empty vessel and teach the students. 

I also do mentoring without pay. I participated myself in the academic tutor thingy recently...and I got myself 2 juniors as my tutee(or mantee, depends which terms you use). Hurm, did I mention that me and my girls helped a bit with the blue house cheerleading team? I swore to myself not to go near those things again..but hey, I spoke too soon. We helped a few bits of their routine but that's the most of it. Those girls(and guy) pretty much doing good on their own.....

..and as I'm writing this post, I actually have to go and prepare lunch already. Some of you already heard the story of how the maid ran off with her bf recently, jumping the ship, leaving us on our own. Now, I'm the part-time maid, serving ,my mum and dad this 1 week holiday. I do almost every housework in the house.Sweep/mop the floor, prepare bfast/lunch and dinner, look after mum's plants, look after the cat..and the list goes on. I so can feel that the domestic goddess in me is unleashed. My mum asked me yesterday whether she should employ a new one and this is my reply "There's no need.I do the housework 10 times better than the maid.Hurmph," and my dad just laughed as I did my second round of mopping.

From what I can conclude, keeping busy is the best way to take your mind off things. Definitely. When I tutor people and such, I learn a few things as well.  Like, I HAVE to learn Science all over again every single Sunday and I learnt not to open the front door when the cat is outside the cage. Life is one learning process. Life-long learning.Haha, I'm talking rubbish now. Must be the side effects.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. 
-John Lennon-

boyfriend

Happy birthday! =)

the 411 on the 911

Due to my brother's idiocy, I managed to get online like just a few mins ago.

This is my first post in Malaysia since I arrived on the 1 dec.

How's the feeling?

Bullshit. Some part of me happy to be in the comfort of my own house, some part of me wants someone to take me back to the land of Down Under.
The first day back home is like a huge slap. All the sudden, I'm like Dorothy who's not in OZ anymore, and in my old colourless hometown.

It's like some mothers suffer from post-natal depression, I suffer from post-australia depression. Need some time for adjustment. Kastam, MasKargo.hahaha.

down and low

No matter how hard you try, you will not get it.

I have stopped in believing in anything.I do now, really.

(Nice dream)

From my observations of my fellow comrades, I can conclude there's a mixture of feelings upon the end of our 2 years abroad.

Some can't wait to go back home-meet all the relatives, boyfriend/girlfriend, new addition to their family, friends and eat all those food. Some have a better social life back home.

Some have mixed feelings-they can't wait to go back and yet they will miss life abroad so dearly...

..and some just don't want to go back home. At all.

Why do we dread to see that day coming? For some, life is much better overseas. Life is more comfortable.The scenery is magnificent.The shopping is heaven. For some, it might be due to the fact that their 'honeymoon' period is over. Life without parental restriction-no curfew, do all the things that the religion forbids..just because they won't get any raised eyebrow from the so-called narrow minded society that we have back home.There's plenty of reasons. It could be that one leads back to the normal life, no more adventurous life...or it could be the transportation system. For whatever the reason is, good or bad, all good things must come to end, eventually. As the saying goes, 'Nothing lasts forever'.

There's pros and cons. I would love to go abroad again but just for a short stay. A holiday maybe. There's a lot of thing that I will surely miss. I'll miss how frequent the public transport is in Brisbane. It sure looks like a comparison of heaven and hell when I thought of my public transport experience in Malaysia. I'll miss how I don't have to rush to the library to get all the books. There's plenty for everyone, including procrastinators. I love the fact that the people are more laidback and not afraid to be themselves. If I were given the choice, I may want to delay my stay or miss my flight but I can't.Life must go on. I had my 2 (almost) years experience and now I'm done. Back to square one. Back to that college near UM.Back to the 24 hours eateries. Another chapter in my life. Another interesting story to tell the grandchildren.

My 2 years stay here taught me a lot of things. Life, relationship, educational...you name it. I've changed throughout my stay here. Everyone changes.Everything changes. There's a lot of adaptation to do once I'm back in Malaysia. Especially the wheather.

It's all I got when you're in my head.......

*not in the picture-savita menon, waheeda*

I miss these people very much. Those who have known me through high school years, gone through thick and thin, fought, joked around, ever changing interest, understand each other etc.No drama, backstabbing  whatsoever.When life is so full of innocence, back then.I miss them all, so damn much, sigh....

New

I'm crushing on James Hetfield currently.
However, not the real-life one.The virtual one.
Full of what some people might refer to as masculinity.

Macho sial.Nak boyfriend yang rockstar.Seriously.

Kopi Hitam

'Night Swimming
Beach walking
Always silent
Never talking
Then you call my name
And I know inside I love you'

Black Coffee-All Saints

Sometimes, you don't need to say that three words.It's just understood.

Anyways, I found an interpretation of the song from a website and here what the writer thinks about the song:-

"song is probably about this girl who is so in love with this guy as though he is like the perfect guy for her but the girl is suffering from depression that whenever she is going through an emotional ride, he will be her bashing bag where she let's go of all the emotions. "

woah.

As the title of Pink's album goes "I'm not dead!"

Some friends might have been aware that I have activated my Facebook account now.

Hard decision but had to be done anyways, whether I like it or not.
I decided to deactivated my FB and have no contact whatsoever with any people for about 2 months.
I don't want to know what is happening out there and I don't want people to know about me.
I want to be incognito for awhile.

When people asked 'why'?
I just simply said that 'well, it's addictive' or 'it's getting too overwhelming'.
I'll stick to the latter one.

There were so many bisa- ness around me for the past few months and I need a break.
I need to rethink about these stuffs around me.
I want to disappear for awhile.
I hate how my FB account became a 'tool' for gossiping.melaga-lagakan orang.How FB creates the hypocrite in us...people would be so nice commenting about your pics when behind your back they backstabb you, talk bad about you.How people trying to hard to be friends with everyone when you know that person is not the extrovert kind of person.Funny things that technology make us do just to get attention and whatnot.Not to mention people who would air their dirty linen! Where's privacy in that, huh?

I know I can't run forever as I need to keep in touch with my family(FB is so effective)..I just need time.And I did that yesterday.I don't know hw am I supposed to feel, but I'm glad and hope everything will be okay.No more bro-in-law to nag me to activate my FB back.No more brother saying 'dh xde FB.ingatkan dh mati dah' or the bf and sherry's urge of 'please open ur fb!!

I might leave FB for good if it doesn't do any good for me, anymore.

Brother

My brother just buzzed me through YM.

We finally realized that it's going to be a long time until we get to celebrate Raya with each other.
2 years gone because I'm in Australia.
Another 5 years gone when he's off to Germany this January.

I'm so sad.Seriously.Rasa macam nak nangis.

Anyways, Happy Eid everyone =)

I'm back to my 10 year old self

Alas, my childhood dream come true! If there was one thing that I really, really wanted since I was a kid, it has got to be any Crayola products.I remember how I was green with envy when my big sister posted a Crayola box set(full with watercolors, crayons, markers, pencil colours) to my brother all the way from UK-Heck, I got myself a roller blade, big deal, but I want the crayola set lah actually!

And today I got myself one* courtesy to miss Aliaa Z.Thanx, Aliaa! =)

Now, my childhood desire is fulfilled!(??)

* I always have this 'let-me-find-my inner-child' moment where I'll go all mental buying pencil colours and colouring book but always leave the thing untouched.Hangat-hangat taik ayam(Hot-hot chicken shit) lah katakan.

Dead

05/08/06-30/08/09

My blue Swatch just died on me yesterday. =(

of the men in my life

Recently, my brother called me and informed me that he passed his ALG final exam(that's A-levels German,for all you out there).Alhamdullilah and I guess I will be start saving some cash to travel there and see you, 'lil bro??Congratulations! =)

Meanwhile, after a few futile attempts of trying to call my sister & my brother-in-law, I managed to get through them (well, my b-i-l, anyways).Chatted for a an hour about the nephew and stuffs.Everyone, meet Syed Mika(yes, as in Mika the singer).The name did manage to raise everyone's eyebrow but according to my b-i-l, that name is very rare indeed.He listed a few Arabic meanings to the name which I can only remember right now, intelligence.Wow.

..and then, I got 'the news'.

Due to my MIA policy, no one managed to contact me when this occured.....my dad was admitted into the hospital yesterday's morning due to minor stroke.Called mum later and she said that everything's okay..but you know how mums can be at this time, right?It does scare the shit out of me.Hope everything will be okay.Seriously. =(

I really wanna go home right now.....

Daddy's little girl

He was the person that I feared the most, when I was a little girl.
He was the person that I hated the most(sometimes) when I was a little girl.

Never get to do what I want.
I'm always wrong( the teenage me).

That was then.

Now, he is my one of my favorite person on earth.
He is one of the people that I really, really love and cherish.
I may be more comfortable with my mum, but my dad is my best friend.

My partner in crime and as I grow older, I've realised the things that I do is actually, well, to please my dad.Make him smile.We are so alike yet so different.

I'm his daughter and he is my father.
I'm still daddy's little girl.Hee....

Happy birthday, abah!

so yesterday

I was browsing through my now-neglected Friendster account when I came across my old blog, ehem, my first blog:

'My Garbage'

April 2005-November 2007.

That was me then.I'm a whole different person now.

'I can't wait for tomorrow...'

He's coming back this Friday!
=)

the one where she finished a 2000 words essay in a day

Peace out!

The title is sooo Friends. I miss watching the reruns on Star World.
Out of the 6 friends, I can't really settle on a favorite.Hmm, let see....I like them all but if I have to pick one(or two and three) I think I like Ross.He's so funny and a bit blur sometimes.I like Rachel too because well, she's Rachel! Last but not least, the ever sarcastic Chandler.

Yesterday, I started on Erika's analysis paper and finished it on the same day!
The older I get, the better I am with procrastination! Hahaha......

I have always wanted the 'Rachel' haircut.If only....
I admire Lady Diana Spencer,Victoria Beckham, Jackie Onassis and Audrey Hepburn's sense of style.I know, I'm soo old school...(except for Posh).
I'm craving for that pink Coach bag...Canon G10....a trip to Europe...If only, again.
Need to save some cash, need to claim the Beyonce tickets that I bought( I actually waited until the clock strikes 12pm on the pre-sale day just to get the best priced tix..note same adrenaline rush that Far get when she bought the Coldplay tix).

I'm so swamped with work that I have been neglecting my blog.I do FB but only because I want to do those silly quizzes and release all the tension from the assignments.Been reading the C1 and C2 blogs a lot because I'm dreading the day that I will become a teacher. Maybe I need to go out a bit...

I miss mum and dad like badly... =(

I need to book the accommodation for winter hols.or we won't have a place to stay ;)

There's so many things in my mind...but now I'm expressing it, all my thoughts.

Here's a thought- two of my closest buddies got the best ex ever.For still having some kind of concern and not to write off people simply.There is still some goodness in this world, apparently.So sweet.. =)

Pink is the new pink

A fave pic of mine, of ours.

Happy 22nd bday to one of my 'pink sisters'!!!!!!
Me love ya and wish you to have a good life ahead.
Miss you!

=)

'...everyone has dreams but only few realise them...'

"...everyone has dreams but only few realize them, make cowards...the rest of us"
-Paolo Coelho's Veronika Decides to Die-

One of my favorite books from one of my favorite authors is immortalised in a film.
I just want to die right now.