Of money and handbag.

Yesterday, I went to the city to convert my Australian dollar to New Zealand dollar. I was a bit tired, since I went right after my NCG performance practice(we had 3 days of 'intensive' practice, before the day itself on the 3rd July). I swore to myself that I'll try not to spent money on unnecessary things, since I'm almost in the red right now, but as a girl, some promises are meant to be broken, especially when there's a sale....No one can resist a good bargain right? Especially when you saw "Further 50% reduction on 50% sale item" outside Guess outlet.Yes, I managed to snag a Guess handbag, original price was 119, 50% sale-79.50.....and with the further reduction, I got it for......TA DA!!!!!- 39.50 AUD

New Zealand dollars and handbag, baby!!!

So, it was all about cash yesterday. Bought a handbag, changed currency, and after much calculation, I only got a few dollars left to survive me until September!!! Grasp! I know that I should curb my spending, careful with cash and whatnot....sigh.....but, it's just hard.Need to have the discipline.Which I don't really have right now, but I'll try right after I got back from NZ(Since am practically gonna be in my 'tightwad' mode).I know that deep down, I worried to much about it, I admit to the point that friends get annoyed about it. Well, it's really hard to be optimistic about it, when you went through hardships at such young age, especially when it concerns cash. Money is not everything, but it can give you sense of security and.....all the fancy things in life???

False alarm;Of contact lense and eyeball.

Today, I fell asleep and woke up only to discover that the contact lense on my left eye has miraculously disappeared. It felt kinda weird at first, since my right vision is perfectly fine, whereas my left ones are a bit blurry. I guess that my contact lense got stuck inside. So, like I would always do, I rubbed my eye, hoping that the contact lense would come out but to no avail.I was panic in a while. It must have been that the lense got behind my eyeballs or something.

Asked a few people to check my eye, but they don't see a thing.

I even resorted to self-induced tears in order to lubricate my eyes, so that the contact lense would come out again. And I failed.

I got freaked out. The first thing that appeared in my mind was the notion of having eye infection, going to the hospital, have to pay a whole lotta money and...probably losing my eye-sight.

I don't want to be wearing the one-eyed patch.

Well, earth to Hezrin, I told myself and decided the best thing to do right now is to call my mum since my mum been wearing contact lenses for almost 20 years now. And, I called my mum, with that 'I-just-cried' tone and told her of my predicament. Then we got disconnected. Called my mum again for the second time. While we got disconnected, my mum was still able to call my sister to tell her of my predicament. Second opinion,huh???

So, it turns out that, the contact lense is probably not inside my eye. It could have fallen off my eye while I was sleeping. This is because a) it's a soft lense, so it won't get stuck somewhere behind your eyeballs and b) if it does, you'll feel it on your eyelids, and it will eventually come out. The possibility of it getting stuck behind your eyeballs and never come out is, zero.

As for me, while I'm still convinced that the contact lense is somewhere at the corner of my eye, I tried to assure myself that it's not there, probably fallen off while I was asleep. I tried to look for evidence on my bed but to no avail. So, as I was on my way to the kitchen from my room, I stumbled upon the contact lense on the floor. I couldn't help but smiled as I picked it up off the floor. And I rubbed my eye so hard for nothing???

I guess the moral of the story is, if something happens unexpectedly in your life, where you are so damn sure that you're doomed, the only and the best thing that you can do is try not to get panic. No matter how serious it can be.Because, that thing that gets you worried may not be that serious after all and you might end up exaggerating. And when you do exaggerate, it's not good. And the problem probably won't be solved. So, you should be calm in all situation because eventually, it will be okay again.

Things to ponder.

Life itself is lessons to be learnt. In life, we have learned, and still learning countless of lessons that taught us to be a person, for better or worse. Once, I came across a quotation which I can't remember the source. It goes something like this, "We learn lessons each day in our lives. We are here to make mistakes and learnt from them, not to be punished". It's true, we make mistakes in life, and get the opportunity to rectify our mistakes, learn from it so we will not repeat the same thing again. We don't need to be punished, not from the validation of the society or people who are judgemental. Who are they to judge every single mistake that you made in life, when they, themselves also made those mistakes. Needless to say, they are also human beings like us, born with flaw, not perfect.

Sometimes, it's just easier to walk in that person's shoes, knowing why they act that way instead of judging them and criticizing them.....That will probably make this world a better place.

Just a lil update on myself.

Things that I'm going to do today and what I've been up to currently:-

• I've been doing some 'workout' with the wii fit(it has a nickname btw,Sam.Sarah's idea).Something that keep me occupied currently and also erm,keeps me fit???
• Been immersing myself with Yoga. Thanx to Wii Fit and also the free Yoga CD that I got from a breakfast cereal.
• Going to start my first ehem, proper job at some Turkish pizza joint or something today. Quite nervous, since I don't really have the experience of working as a waitress. Hopefully, I will pull it through.
• Busy practicing the Asmaradana dance for NCG this coming July. Going to perform on the closing night, I think. Prior to that, I'm also going to help Syefah cook for the NCG delegates on the 1st day. And also volunteered to work for the NCG Bulletin as a reporter.
• Going to New Zealand right after NCG. going to Christchurch, Queenstown, Dunedin, Wellington and Auckland. I think. Don't know if I can support myself with my insufficient money.That's why need a job desperately.
• Recently Ilani came over to Brisbane, for a few days. Took her to seaworld,a surprise birthday party(credits to izy and sal) where we had some pizza.And the place where those pizza came from is where am going to work tonight. Had fun. but was devastated didn't get to take photograph with Cookie Monster. Hurmph.
• Currently can't stop listening to Radiohead's 'house of cards', '2+2=5' and 'morning bell', Coldplay's 'viva la vida', 'shiver', and 'violet hill' and also Britney spears' 'radar'.Hahahaha.

That's all for now.

I'm coming home again.....

Yup, the title of my blog says it all: I'm coming home!!!! I've just booked a promotional offer from MAS recently which cost me about 268 AUD,not bad since if I paid lesser amount for Air Asia, I still get to go home, minus the comfort and food. However, I didn't book a return ticket from KL to Brisbane yet, until I realised that, my initial plan of going straight from KL to Sydney might not be working at all....

So, in a flash, I went to MAS online with my fingers crossed that the ticket is still available, cheap ones obviously.And I was a teeny-weeny late. The only available tickets left was the 2000 over. A definitely no-no. So, without wasting more time and Internet credit, I went to Air Asia's website.....and I managed to find ticket with reasonable prices. Hardy har-har. The next thing to do was to call my mum, since my mum agreed to pay for one ticket only and since I already paid for the 1st one, I cant afford to pay more.........

Fast forward and I'm already going to make the payment using my mum's credit card. Then, things happens. Nak visa verification lah pulak! Called my mum again, asking for particular details. Then, I filled in the particulars and submitted it. Suddenly CIMB states that some of the info given were incorrect. Called my mum again, and again but they same error still occurs.Damn. I need to book it ASAP.Come on.......

Mama: If still tak boleh, I'll call ur kak long and ask her to give hers. Nanti mama bayar
Me: Ok2, nanti pape, mama suruh kak long call ke ape....

So, I got my sister's credit card instead. And I manged to make my payments. Not longer than that, my sister called.

Kak long: Baby(yeah, that's my nickname.Stop snickering!), boleh pakai ke card kak long?
Me: A'ah. Boleh2. Thanx kak long.
Kak long: Hhahaha. Apa nih? Kata tak nak balik la konon(With my bro-in-law's voice in the background,laughing).
Me: Balik la...bosan kat sini. Nak makan best2(yeah right, kepala hotak hang!pastu bising badan naik)
Kak long: Oklah then, btw, Sarah(my niece) dah pandai lukis lipas yang baby ajaq dia time before fly dulu. Sikit2 lukis lipas je.Hahahaha.And now, Sarah suka ultraman,Dia dah x tidur dgn doll dia dah. Can you imagine budak perempuan tido dengan ultramen?
Me: Hahahaha. That's funny.

End of conversation.

Well, it's true, I planned not to come back throughout my 2 years stay here but decided to changed my mind now. There's no place like home. Even when sometimes I despise it sometimes, but it's still the only place where I belong to.And I planned to travel to New Zealand in summer initially, and since I'm going there this winter, I don't really see the reason why should I stay. Unless I want to be bored to death or spend all my money.I planned to go to other cities here in OZ next year, hopefully when I'm financially OK.

Happy and glad that I'm going back, even for a while(early nov-early jan)......
and the first thing that I'm going to do when I reached home-have my Quarter Pounder!
=p

Welcome to the blogsphere jungle,baby!

Often lately,I noticed that more and more people that I know have their own blog page. I mean, everyone has it before, but it has become something like a craze lately. Sometimes you'll see them promoting the blog's URL on friendster on facebook shout out and whatnot.It's not something new, but suddenly blogging becomes and IT thing.


I myself is a follower of this phenomena too, I have to admit. I started blogging way back in 2005 I think. It was my Friendster's blog. I would talk on mostly craps, I do realise that I'm not a good blogger.Before there was blog, I had my non-technology blog, the traditional, conventional way of expressing your thoughts, the diary. But, it's not really a diary. It was the Fujifilm organizer that my mum got from her office( My mum is a radiographer, so we always get freebies from companies such as Kodak, fujifilm...not camera,though =p). I even had a name for it 'Little black book'. It was this small and black coloured book,hence the name, that I used to write stuff.....from 'what to buy list', 'what to do list' and important dates. However, one thing that distinguish it from your typical yearly organizer is the fact that I wrote personal stuff that I wish people would never read. Private and confidential things. Things that I wrote about something or someone when they pissed me off....Almost everyone made an entry in that book. It's my way of channeling my anger. At least it's better than screaming or punching at that person......


Now, I blog instead. I don't channel my anger in a negative way, but I pen my innermost thoughts in my blog. I also have an account with Vox blog which I started in 2006 but it's not that active. I'm not active with my Friendster blog anymore, due to some misunderstandings and I felt that it has become 'not personal' anymore. Hence, I created my chocolategreenteafrappucino somewhere in the middle of 2007. A fresh start. A place where I can get an instant escapism, although not permanent. It was a rough year for me, and somehow, I was inspired to create this blog.......

The URL explains it all, it's my favorite drinks from Starbucks(I love the vanilla ice blended from Coffee Bean, btw). The name of the page is somewhat interesting. As I mentioned before, I was having a rough year, last year. Frienships, guy problem and many others. I like to spent most of time in my room, listening to songs in my laptop. One day, I was listening to "Everything in its right place" by Radiohead. I was somehow fascinated with the lines 'yesterday I was sucking a lemon', 'there are two colours in my head, what is it you trying to say?' and also with how the music was constructed. Then, out of the blue, it hit me. I don't really know why and how, but it made me go to Blogspot to create my new blog,my new baby.A fresh start. A new beginning. The rest is history.

I was not really active last year, due to the lack of Internet connection(compare that to now, ha!) and hectic schedule,and my blog is my personal domain. I actually told a few selected people that I really, really trust about it. I want to be able to express my thoughts or opinion freely.......it's like my sanctuary. If people happen to discover it or anything, you are welcomed to read my blog. I admit that I'm not really a good blogger compared to others, but there's still some room for improvement, not that writing a good blog is a must or anything!

So, if someone wants to start a blog but unsure of it, I'd urge them to do so! Blogging is really fun! It gets all of your creative juices flowing and let you express your feelings in a positive way. Besides, it helps to improve your language too....it's much more fun than writing academic essay, I tell ya!

everything is NOT in its right place

Is there anybody out there?
I need someone,
to cheer me up
to make me look at life positively.
to calm me down.
to be my best friend.
do I have one?
am I really happy with life?
am I satisfied with life?
to listen to me
to calm my fears.
to appreciate me.
do I have anybody that I can rely on?
that I can trust on?
cause I feel hopeless.
I feel bad.
unhappy.lost hope in everything.
everything is NOT in its right place.

I'm a mess........

Something that happened yesterday.....

My first KFC meal in 6 months.

Finger-lickin good....

Satisfying craving.Hahahaha.

=D

My 1st post in June,2008

It had been 3 days that I got disconnected from the Internet due to my 'not-in-the-mood' state. So, today, after I got back from ampac practice, I help Syefah cooking nasi tomato, before I get online again. Check my email(69 emails!!), qutmysa' email(2 spams on how-to-get-rich scheme.nothing much) and also friendster and facebook, although I rarely update my page, I do admit. Then, yeah, I'm writing this blog........

Before I actually start writing my new post, I went to Syefah's empty mind where her latest entry reminds me of the thing that she told me, while helping her to prepare lunch. "I'm homesick.I actually cried because I miss home....," said Syefah. Such a strong statement, something that I can relate to, especially for the past few days. I miss home,if not, Malaysia. I really want to go back if I could. And I have to admit that I've been in denial for the past few months. You see, I tried to make everything become positive, try to tell myself not to have such notions in my head....try to make myself enjoy every single moment that I spent here in Brisbane. But, I've realised 2 days ago that I'm lying to myself......

I have to admit that some people's attitude over here drag me down. Some people make me think that my life here sucks. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame on these people, it's just that whenever I see them and their 'so-called' attitude that I won't mention, I do think that it affect my whole outlook on my life here in Brisbane. Sometimes, I tried to ignore it as I would often phrase it in BM, 'buat pekak telinga and buta mata je...' but I guess there are times that I can't afford to do so. So people just wouldn't change. They criticize others while they are not...that perfect. Don't really care about people and whatnot. It sucks to be stuck with these kind of mentality for 2 years.....sigh.Sometimes, I'm on the brink of insanity thinking about it.....but, thank god that I have Syefah here...at least, I can rely on her.......It's good to know that there are still someone out there who thinks the same and going through the same thing with you. At least I don't feel so much 'alone'.

I wish I could go home now, lie on my bed, for some escapism....and just now, as I was writing this blog, Muzzy called me to thank of the packages that she had received from me. And that makes it even sadder writing this blog.....and my sister supposedly come here last Sunday but she cancelled last minute. Probably coming here end of this month. I really want her to come badly, I really do. I just can't stand another misery. =(

And I'm just not in the mood for anything really.........