my insides turned into dust.....

My grandmother passed away on tuesday. The person that I've known almost all of my life finally took her last breath and leave this world gently. ......Nothing last forever and all of us may have been prepared with her impending departure but i still could not accept the fact that she's gone. In denial. Confusion. And what hurts the most is the fact that i was few seconds late.......maybe i could have been there during the final moments.....i was so near and yet, i couldn't make it.....And i'm going to miss her much. so much that it hurts me inside........she's been a very significant character in my life. She was my parent before my parents. She cooked for me, scolded me, wake me up for school every morning.......taught me how to dress up.....how to eat using my fingers.....and now she's gone. How i'm going to miss all of that.....i'm going to miss her voice,her face.....everything. how everytime i walk by her room and there will be something missing, emptiness because now she's gone. gone to the other life.....and i really regret the times that i took her for garanted. i do. and i wish i could have the powers to make her stay, but i can't.....and i can't bring her back. no matter how many tears that i've cried........and on that day, all my insides turned into dust........