The post-birthday celebration.

Lately, I'm not in the mood for anything. Things have changed, and I'm struggling to adapt to it....I dread everytime I enter into a new day. I dread when I wake up in the morning, of things that I have to face or things that I have to do....trying to run away from all responsibilities in this world. I look forward to bed time each day, as by sleeping, I can runaway from my trouble or woes, even when I know that I'll succeed in doing so temporarily.


I don't know how to describe the state I'm in right now.I hate going to class. I don't have the mood to go out, unless I have too....nothing motivates me. I've been crying every night before I go to sleep, or whenever I'm lying on my bed with empty mind. Only God knows what it feels like.


At these times, I miss home, I miss my family, even when we are not that close. I rarely talk to parents but somehow, I miss being there at home with them.I feel needy. I feel like I want to be the little girl who's clingy to her parents. That's how I feel.I miss my brother so much,cause am so close with him. Gosh, I just wanna go back.


Even when I feel so low, down or crappy right now, my 21st birthday arrived on the 5th of August recently.
I'm not in the celebration-mode.I don't feel like doing anything. In fact, I actually slept early on the eve of my birthday.


Somehow, my friends made some efforts that managed to light up a smile on my face. Even for a few days. I got a surprise birthday party with cakes and KFC(yes, they know damn well that I've been craving for that particular food).I got a red dress from Supre that I really, really wanted, but can't afford get my hands on it. They took all the effort to decorate their place for the party.I got late night calls from people that I love, wishing me to have a happy 21st birthday. I got a book from my fave author.I got a parcel with Radiohead CDs. B'day cards from another side of the world and also from another part of Australia(The one where I left my heart at...), a 'hand' called it =p and others. Somehow, it's not that grand or whatsoever but, these simple gestures really cheers me up.


Thank you so much, all of you.
You touched my heart.

Thank you for making me smile even just for the moment.

Thank you, thank you so much,
I could not ask anything better than that.
=)